You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
