Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
