I wanna bring you to show and tell
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize