paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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