You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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