I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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