I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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