You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
