Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
