I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
