i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm always down for nudity.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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