I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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