Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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