Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
