Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
