sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
