i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
