we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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