Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
