Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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