I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
