Kareoke will never be a sober sport
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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