Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize