How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
