I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
