The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sobbing to NWA
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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