Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
