just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
