Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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