I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
