Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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