We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
