TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
