I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he quoted the bible to break up with me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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