sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
