Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
