ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
