dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
