you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
