Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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