He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The uberlube is also flammable
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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