I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
