Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
