im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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