I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
