I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
