just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
