Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
