weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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