I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
