You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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