how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
