I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
