Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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