We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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