Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
