You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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