Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
