I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
